It was not in my hand

You were my most valuable asset in life
You're right, I was the one who lost you
I couldn't keep my promises to you
It was not in my hand

You're right I was the one who left you
My hands betrayed your hands
And my heart, my heart betrayed your heart
It was not in my hand, I couldn't stay with you

I didn't live after you
While you shed tears behind my back
I knew all this would happen
It was not in my hand darling

Now I'm dying slowly
I had to pay for my betrayal
I recreated you from my pain
It was not in my hand
that I can't die without you!

Please never forgive me
But don't forget that I love you so much
Don't believe it if they say I'm gone without you
It was not in my hand, darling
It was not in my hand

-Aleksandre Aleksey Vasiliyeviç